


Humanity's Greatest Therapy Session

by Plinycapybara



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mpreg, Past Mpreg, Post-Series, Psychology, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-21 02:22:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1534115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plinycapybara/pseuds/Plinycapybara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Talking to a wall for an hour and paying forty coins to do so shouldn't end up being a lesson about birth order. </p><p>A fanfiction for the famous Humanity's Greatest Bedtime Story: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9707745/1/Humanity-s-Greatest-Bedtime-Story</p>
            </blockquote>





	Humanity's Greatest Therapy Session

Based off of gothicdancer’s Humanity’s Greatest Bedtime Story: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9707745/1/Humanity-s-Greatest-Bedtime-Story

Go read it. Its AWESOME.

Also, I'm not Hajime Isayama.

 

—-

The leather chair and maroon rug separated me from the shrink.

“You’re Eren Jaeger’s second child, correct?”

"Yep." I sighed, chewing on the pen he gave to sign some form that I didn’t pay attention to. Just sign here. The rest might as well as have been in Hebrew for all I knew.

"Well, isn’t this a pleasure. I get the privilege to have the daughter of Humanity’s Strongest and Humanity’s Hope—"

"Shut up." I stopped him.

"Excuse me?" the shrink blinked.

"Shut the fuck up. If you MENTION the word ‘humanity’ or ‘titan’ in this session, I will rip off your arm." I threatened.

"Young lady, didn’t you read the terms and conditions—no you didn’t, who the fuck I am kidding, who does?" the shrink lied back. He began to process back into his days in a university setting in Sina, talking about the various kinds of therapies used.

"Who are you? Right now?"

"A paper bag."

Birth order. The shrink nods. It figures.“A paper bag? Why a paper bag?”

"Why wouldn’t I be?"

"Does this have to do with your older brother?" I glanced out the window at the beach—the shoreline in which “Uncle Armin” had long foretold to be the most beautiful image one could possibly wrap their head around. Five years ago, a town was settled by the sea only ten years after the titan war. I was fifteen when it was finally finished. My brother was twenty, and daddy was forty. Papa, unfortunately, met his untimely end in the final battle at the age of sixty. I am twenty-five—almost twenty-six and I have no idea who am I. Pathetic.

"Tell me the first vivid memory you have about your brother."

 

_"Hey Papa! Hey Daddy! I’m back from my first year of training!" Daddy and Papa immediately turned to see my older brother, thirteen with the body of a seventeen-year-old, flashing his Trainee Corps jacket._

_"Is that stew I smell?" His green eyes flashed. His ruffled, black hair—one of the few traits he got from Papa—jumped almost comically the minute he smelled home cooked stew._

_"Oi." Papa nodded, "Rabbit stew. Your favorite."_

_"Thank you, papa!"_

_"A hardy meal for my little warrior?" Papa smiled and rustled my brother’s hair._

_"Penelope, get your bratty ass down here! Come down here and saw hello to your older brother! Where are you!?"_

_"Here I am," I sighed._

_"Penny!" My brother grabbed me in full embrace. That heated temperature he inherited from Daddy's titan powers. Those beautiful green eyes. He got everything good from both of them and yet I couldn’t hate him! I just couldn't! It was impossible! He was just a big, giant teddy bear I wanted to snuggle— His smile, also from Daddy, shined as he pulled away,"I missed you so much! How’s my favorite budding artist?"_

_"…Good." I answered shortly. I didn't know what else to say. I was doing alright in school (since I decided against the military, Levi decided that I would at least try to get an education. I didn't know how much that meant to him since neither of my parents got to go to school until after the titan war when daddy told me. Apparently the schools in both the Sina underground AND Shinashinga were shitty and underfunded. My brother never went to school because there was a group of religious conservatives after him at the time, plus he was more interested in the military. By the time I reached school age, they were mostly in prison._

_"Hey, are you thinking about enlisting?" My brother smiled._

_"No." I sighed. "I already told you that a thousand times."_

_"Why not? What are you going to do INSTEAD of joining the Scouting Legion!? I mean, come on, our parents are LEGENDS!" My brother’s eyes lit up like Christmas/Papa’s Birthday._

_"…Dunno. Sit in the attic and sketch." I answered. Truthfully, that’s all I ever wanted to do. I was born premature and weak because Papa was a lot older than most people when they have children, so military in my mind was out of the question. And I wasn’t smart like Uncle Armin, either, so even being a military tactician was out the window._

_"Will your pencils defend from titans?" Daddy asked._

_"Tsk." I rolled my eyes and went back upstairs._

\---

"You never joined the Scouting Legion?" the shrink asked. I shook my head.

"Never. After my twelfth birthday, my parents just became more involved in the military—especially now that my brother was in it—and just left me at home most of the time."

"What I’m hearing a classic birth-order jealousy case. You’re jealous that your brother was stronger and was able to perform the role of strong military man, while you had other gifts that weren’t recognized. But it sounds like your brother is NOT to blame. He sounds like he loves you."

"Its funny that you mention him. He told me that he was going to take a stroll with Daddy down the beach since its the anniversary that a group of some of Papa’s comrades—Petra, Oluo, Erd and someone else were killed." I sighed.

"Why didn’t you go with them?" the shrink asked. "I didn’t think they needed me."

I shrugged, "They didn’t need me in the expeditions. Why would they need me for a long walk on a beach?"

"Why do you say that? Don’t you think they’d enjoy your company?"The shrink asked.

"They’re fine. They took down the titans, they can deal with some alone time without me." I answered.

"Penelope, look at me, your brother loves you. And I’ve met Mr. Eren Jaeger, he is a wonderful person. You should talk to them." the shrink said.

"I won’t have to pay them forty roubles an hour like you to talk to a wall, will I?" I asked.

"Just throw a giant stab in my job description, will you?" the shrink chuckled, "You’re definitely Levi’s kid."

—-

Eren let the wade of the tide relax his ears. His feet were fully invoked by the sandbar. He turned to his son, the oldest child and his pride and joy. He had inherited his green eyes, but also had his Papa's black hair. Unlike Levi, though, his hair was shaggy and unkempt. “Remember the first time we came here after the titan war?”

"Yeah. I remember you and Jean building giant sand dunes. Armin was looking at all of the seashells and Mikasa was collecting them. I was splashing around with Sasha." 

My brother smiled. "Daddy?"

"Hm?"

"…I remember that you said ‘its all wonderful, but I wonder if it was worth it in the end with all of the losses.’. Was that because you thought of papa?" The younger set of green eyes met the elder Survey Corps veteran.

"Not just Papa. Petra, Mike, Hannes, Nanaba, Mina, Marco, Eld, Gunther, Oluo, Franz, Hannah, Thomas, Connie, mom—,” Eren’s eyes immediately widened as he remembered his mother crying underneath the pile of what used to be his house.

"Sorry I’m late to the party as always." I interrupted.

"Penny?" my brother blinked. "Why are you here?"

"Talked to the shrink. Said I should to talk to you." I shrugged.

"About what…?" Daddy asked. I hadn't even told him or my brother that I had begun to see a therapist. I figured they'd either forget or try to hold an intervention. 

"If Papa was Humanity’s Greatest Soldier, I just might as well as been Humanity’s WORST daughter ever.” I said, “I’m sorry for pinning the blame on you.”

I looked at my brother’s green eyes. "For what!? Did you frame me or something?!" My brother asked.

"No." I answered shortly.

"Then why the fuck are you apologizing!?" My brother asked.

"Because that’s what I do!" I threw up my hands.

"…Alright. Well, do you want to join us for dinner with Jean and Mikasa later on tonight?" My brother offered.

"Yeah, dinner would be nice."

"So what’d the shrink say?" Daddy asked.

"He said I had birth order issues and I was jealous that my love for art wasn’t taken seriously by you guys." I answered.

"What gave that impression? I loved it whenever you visited the Trainee Corps and sketched funny pictures of my fellow trainees!" My brother grinned. "By the way, what’s birth-order?"

Daddy turned to my older brother and cleared his throat.”Birth-order is, according to Armin’s books, describing what a child would be like determined by their place in a family line. For example, you were at top of your trainee class. You’ve killed seventy-five titans. You’ve mastered the 3DMG. You’re the first-born. You obey the rules. You please adults. You’re a high-achiever. You’re also extremely responsible.”

"…I-I didn’t think that order should dictate that much-" My brother muttered.

"And Penny over here is the second and last child….need I say more?" both sets of green eyes—my brother’s and Daddy’s—glared at me.

"Well, great nothing changed and one hour of my life along with forty roubles just down the drain. I am going to go to take a shitload of Zoloft until I fall into a drug-induced delusion in which I have entered the world of Narnia and Mr. Tumnus is dressed as a pale, demonic Butler serving me tea in a large British castle." I sighed.

"Sounds, wait, is Zoloft invented yet?" my brother asked me.

"I’LL INVENT IT IF I NEED TO!"


End file.
